Part One: It’s a complicated Russian novel; everyone’s got nine different names.
War ass Peace-y
Dearest friends, comrades, princes, princesses, counts, etc.,
Welcome!
As of today (September 8, 2023), I have read 96 pages of War and Peace, WAP for short. (This acronym stands for War And Peace, and nothing else, you perverts!!! That said, if I was a YouTuber circa 2010, I would do a Weird Al style rap parody of WAP about War and Peace and it would be an earworm!)
Before we get into the rich (and dense!) content of WAP itself, let's do a vibe check.
First of all, I am outing myself as a liar, because I said I would do these little check-ins every 100 pages, but as you see above, I have only read 96. This is because WAP is neatly divided into sections and the first one clocks in at 96 pages, so I figured, let’s divide my newsletter as Leo Tolstoy would have wanted.
I am reading The Modern Library’s War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, translated by Constance Garnett. It was from a very nice lady in the Friendship neighborhood of Pittsburgh, PA and cost me one American dollar.
There is so much to be googled about this book, essays and sparknotes and an extensive Wikipedia. However, I’m challenging myself to not google. I want to make my brain do the work to figure out who is related to whom, what exactly this war is, etc. My only secondary source is, of course, the Tony Award losing musical (if I see that Evan Hansen, it’s on SIGHT) Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812.
Speaking of, NPGC has very much helped with the first section of this book, specifically in the character intros. I highly recommend listening to the Prologue of the show, as it introduces the characters very well, each with a fun little adjective. That is of course, seven years after the book starts, so spoilers abound. Still, it helped!
Now, for MY introduction of the characters which is a lot less catchy. I am only going to list characters who are named and appear on the page, not the ones who are only mentioned, because these bitches GOSSIP and mention a zillion people. Additionally, since this is a translated work, some of the names may be spelled differently than in other translations of WAP. I’m just doing what my girlie Constance wrote!
So, without further ado:
Cast (in order of appearance):
Anna Pavlova Scherer (an unmarried woman throwing a party, we’ve all been there)
Price Vassily (the first of many princes we meet)
Ellen (Prince Vassily’s daughter, aka Helene, famously a slut in NPGC)
Princess Lise Bolkonsky (Prince Andrey’s wife, very charming)
Prince Ippolit (Prince Vassily’s son, but not the hot one)
Mortemart (French??)
The Abbe Morio (Italian??)
Pierre (famously Pierre, the illegitimate son of Count Bezuhov, poor for the first 75 pages)
Prince Andrey Bolkonsky (famously isn’t here!! Lise’s husband and Pierre’s BFF)
Princess Anna Mihlovna Drubetskoy (an old princess, but poor)
Anatole (famously hot, Prince Vassily’s other better looking son)
Dolohov (aka Dolokhov, famously fierce, Anatole’s BFF and an officer in the war)
Countess Natalya Rostov (mother of 12!! yikes!!)
Count Rostov (deadbeat husband tbh, do not know his first name, has a gambling problem)
Natasha (famously young, 13 years old atm, beloved daughter of the Rostovs)
Boris (Anna Mihalnova’s son, vaguely romantically attached to Natasha)
Nikolay (older son of the Rostovs)
Sonya (famously good, niece of the Rostovs, vaguely romantically attached to her cousin Nikolay)
Petya (younger son of the Rostovs)
Countess Vera (oldest daughter of the Rostovs)
Mitenka (some guy who deals with the Rostov’s money)
Shinshin (cousin of Countess Rostov, old bachelor)
Lieutenant Berg (an officer, vaguely romantically attached to Vera)
Marya Dmitryevna Ahronsimov (famously old school, is a Big Deal)
Julie Karagin (some girl? Is flirting with Nikolay, BFFS with the other Marya below)
Count Bezuhov (Pierre’s daddy, dying)
Princess Katerina Semyonova (Katish for short, Count Bezuhov’s eldest daughter, legitimate)
Princess Sophie (Count Bezuhov’s other daughter, legitimate)
Lorrain (Counti B’s doctor)
Prince Nikolai Andrevitch Bolkonsky (famously crazy, Andrey’s daddy)
Princess Marya (her name was changed to Mary in NPGC because it was confusing to have two Maryas, famously plain, Prince Bolkonsky’s daughter)
Mademoiselle Bourienne (some French girl who lives with the Bolkonskys?? idk on this one fam)
Grey Tihon (pretty sure he is the Bolkonskys’ butler or whatever the equivalent is in Russia)
Mihail Ivanovitch (an architect who has dinner with the Bolkonskys)
Alright! Whew! Now that we have met all 34 of our characters, let's get into it!
Brief Summary:
I may stretch the definition of brief here, as a lot is going on in this first section!
It’s 1805, baby! Russia is at war and it somehow involves Napoleon. More importantly. a bunch of rich people are gossiping.
Anna Pavlova is throwing a party in Petersburg. Her and Prince Vassily are trying to matchmake Prince Vassily’s son, the wild and crazy Anatole, with Princess Marya Bolkonsky, who is not wild nor crazy. They also talk about how much they looove Princess Lise Bolkonsky, Andrey’s wife. Then the party is in full swing: Anna P is hosting, Lise is being charming, and Pierre shows up to be an annoying contrarian academic. He gets into a pro-Napoleon argument, which makes everyone PISSED. Everyone except Prince Andrey who is like, “Pierre is my BOY, I love that guy.” Andrey and Pierre truly do LOVE each other, look at this gay shit:
Another important detail at the party is that Anna Mihlovna asks Prince Vassily for favors for her son, Boris, who is going into the army. Vassily gives her the first favor reluctantly, but not the second. (This will come around to bite him in the ass.)
After the party, Andrey and Pierre go back to Andrey’s place, where Lise is like, “damn I am so sad that Andrey, my husband, is going off to war,” and Andrey is like, “ugh stop complaining, wife, go away!” Once she’s gone, he’s like, “ugh women, am I right??? Don’t get married, buddy,” to Pierre. Men are crazy!!!! Andrey doesn’t really know why he is going to war, simply that he must. He then warns Pierre to stop hanging out with Anatole and co. and to stop drinking as much. Pierre, is like, “great point, friend” and then immediately goes to Anatole’s and drinks.
It’s LIT at Antole’s house, there are a bunch of dudes drinking, and also a literal bear. These guys party!! Pierre watches Dolahov have a drinking contest with a British guy and kick his ass, and Pierre is like, damn I want to do something crazy like that! Performative masculinity!
Cut to Moscow:
It’s the Rostovs, baby! Anna M has gone to the Rostovs to do what these people do best: GOSSIP. She tells the Rostovs that Pierre and Anatole and Dolohov were all kicked out of Moscow because they got too lit and tied a bear to a cop!! Kind of a slay, if you ask me, ACAB (all cops are [handcuffed to] bears). Tolstoy, I’ve learned, loves to tell and not show.
While the adults are gossiping, we meet the kids. Sonya is distraught that Nikolay (her lover-cousin) is going to the war. Natasha is also sad, but less so, that Boris (not her cousin, I think??) is going to the war. She sees Sonya and Nikolay kiss and is like ooh, I can do that, so she kisses Boris. She is 13 and figuring shit out and also is very charming. Everyone loves this girlie!! Her older sister, Vera, is like, you kids are stupid. Apparently she’s hot but no one likes her.
Anna M. is still poor, so Countess Rostov gives her some money, which her husband does not seem eager to part with. Then Anna M. and Boris go to see the dying Count Besuhov, the father of our beloved bastard Pierre. Prince Vassily is there though, and stops Anna M from seeing Count B.
That night, there’s a dinner for Natasha’s birthday, and she’s charming everyone, including Marya Dmitryevna, who doesn’t like anyone except for Natasha. Pierre is also there, post Bear incident. Sonya is very sad because her lover-cousin is flirting with this girl, Julie.
Meanwhile, Count B is dying for real, and Totstoy does another banger tell-don’t-show, where Prince Vassily tells Princess Katish that her father, Count B, wrote the emperor to get Pierre legitimized, so Pierre will inherit all of Count B’s fortune. Katish is PISSED and also mad at Anna M for always snooping around, trying to get money. Who should show up then, but Anna M and Pierre, straight from the b-day party. Pierre is like, uh what do I do, my dad is dying. He just sits down and silently freaks out, while Anna M goes to bat for him and makes sure that the papers declaring Pierre legitimate are delivered. Anna M kind of eats here, because she clocked that Prince V isn’t as generous as Pierre, so she helps Pierre get the inheritance. Baller move. Then, Count B officially dies and Pierre is officially Rich.
Cut to: Bleak Hills
Time to meet Andrey’s family (totally messed up, to quote NPGC)! Prince Bolkonsky is a loopy old man and his daughter Marya (not the same Marya as before!) is terrified of him. She gets a letter from Julie (the same girlie who was flirting with Nikolay) and right out the gate, this letter solidifies that both Bolkonsky kids have gay ass tendencies.
Julie also does an incredible tell-don’t-show of informing Marya that Pierre is now rich and all the girlies want to marry him. She also mentions that there are plans to marry Marya off to Anatole. Marya responds like an insane lesbian: “However painful it may be to me, if the Almighty should ever impose upon me the duties of a wife and mother, I shall try to fulfill as faithfully as I can.” Girl. She is basically like “if God wants me to fuck a man, it will be hard, but I’ll do it. Anyway I’m writing this to my female friend who I love more than anything in the world.”
Speaking of Marya’s gay tendencies, her brother and his wife arrive, right before Andrey is off to war. Marya and Lise have met one (1) time, yet they hug and kiss and cry and laugh upon greeting each other. Andrey is like “what is going on here?” but honestly, this sentiment is still true today. Women are like “girl I love you” after meeting once and men are like, “okay weird, I’m off to war.”
Andrey is dropping the now pregnant (!!) Lise off in the country with his family before yeeting himself to war. It’s another red flag for him, but he does display his only green flag here at home, which is that he clearly adores his sister, which is very sweet. He also is aware that his father is a self-inflated loon. He tries to joke with Marya with a, “Dad, am I right?” but poor Marya is like “how dare you speak ill of our father!” It’s rough. And it will be much rougher for poor Lise, who is so social and charming, stuck with this dysfunctional family.
That concludes the first part of WAP by Leo Tolstoy. What a ride.
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Biggest slay of part one:
Women Talking!! I wasn’t aware of how much of this book would be the girlies talking shit! And I love that! Tolstoy makes a lot of interesting notes on gender and class here, and I think many of them remain true today. This book is definitely not glorifying the men who go off to war, more examining where they fit in the world of society, and what happens to the women left behind. Excited to get into it.
Biggest loser of part one:
Prince Vassily fumbled the bag here! Anna M used the power of Women Talking to get Pierre that fortune! And also I know he will have his hands full with what is to come with Ellen and Anatole, not to mention the other ugly son.
Quote that slapped:
This is what I appreciate about Tolstoy the most so far. These mostly true generalizations that hold truth across centuries. Of course parents never know the full truth of what their kids are up to, but think they do! Wonderful observation, Leo!
“What?”(aka something I am confused about):
Girl, the war.
Incest check:
Sonya is in LOVE with Nikolay and the families are like “aw how cute!” It was a different time, I guess???
Also, I am not quite sure how Prince Vassily and Pierre are vaguely related, it might be through Vassily’s wife, but I know there must be something because Vassily wanted that fortune! Either way, spoiler alert, I know Pierre will marry into that family, so uh, potential incest.
Modern pop culture comparison:
Emily is currently watching all of Downton Abbey for the first time and maybe it's the lover-cousins of it all, but there’s a lot of WAP in Downton Abbey, simply the rich elite living their lives as people die for their country. And women be talking!!
Alright, over 2,000 words later, that is the end of part one (Raina’s version). Thank you for making it, if you have! I’m simply trying to live up to king Leo Tolstoy’s longwindedness.
Мир,
Raina
Thank you so much. I am reading WAP too and will be using you as my syllabus.